I almost did it on Friday night. I said words that would hurt him, because I wanted him to understand that I was hurting. I hated myself while I was doing it. And it was almost as if I couldn't control the words that were coming out of my mouth, but they were doing it anyway, no matter how much I wanted them to stop. I couldn't look at him when I talked, and when he asked me if I was ending it, I nodded.
And then I said no, and I cried, because I couldn't do it. I should have, because the longer I stay, the more it will hurt if I have to leave.
But I think that if I had done it, it would have hurt more.